why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
