these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
