Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
