Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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