i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
this beer tastes like vomit already
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
