why didn't you poke me back
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
