then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
