shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize