butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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