i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
They have beer where we have blood.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
