i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
