At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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