Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
