she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
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