She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize