'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
and she was petting her beer can
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
