I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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