Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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