Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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