I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
