College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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