i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
