So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I still have a little drunk in my system
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
