can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize