I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
How drunk are you?
Completed.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
