I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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