If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
