I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
