the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
