do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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