i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
