I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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