some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
