She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
