Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
