I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he shaved USA in his pubs
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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