All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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