What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
