Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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