Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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