Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
