You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
