I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
