Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize