it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
