Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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