i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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