brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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