that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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