I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
