You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Ketchup is God's man juice
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
