im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
