If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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