If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
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