I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
