Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
