Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
