GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
