i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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